the meaning of life -- it's down there somewhere

Zoe writes: “How do you walk away from a boring life?”

for the last two hours, i’ve been mixing cold medicine with alcohol. and let me tell you, it isn’t boring right now.

this is terrible advice – don’t look toward narcotics to take away the boringness of it all. (to my delight, when i typed boringness microsoft word did not underline the word in that hideous red underline indicating i have spelled something incorrectly. i never would have imagined that boringness could be a word. i was just going with it. hey, sometimes following your instincts is the moral of the story – maybe even the answer to your question zoe.) i just really wanted a beer after work and the effects of this minor cold i’ve located in my body seem to be getting the best of me. whammo – now i’m floating.

i had a professor – dr. lanier – who taught me a number of things in graduate school. i had some of the best conversations with her sitting in her office, wasting her time. (she was the professor who took a liking to my use of lower-case missives.) there were times during the many months of writing my master’s thesis that i would discuss the process of writing with her. she told me how still, to that day, when she was having a problem getting started writing, she would simply begin free writing. i had always felt silly using free writing to get started on an academic assignment; no longer. why do i bring this up? because i fear this entry has devolved into one extensive free writing exercise. and that is okay.

(sidenote 1: after i completed my thesis, i bought the three professors a small gift to say “thanks for reading my boring-ass thesis topic about congregational ministers.” i bought one a nice bottle of wine, another a gift certificate to a local restaurant. for dr. lanier, i chose to purchase her an album that i listened to constantly while writing my thesis. of all my professors, i expected she would be the most accepting of this unique gift. i bought her godspeed you! black emperor’s lift your skinny fists… album. it seemed like a great idea at the time. she must have thought i was a real wackjob. dr. lanier never said if she listened to or enjoyed the album.)

(sidenote 2: other advice received from dr. lanier that i am unlikely to forget: going through a phd program can wreak havoc on a marriage/relationship and that worcester, massachusetts is pronounced wu-sta.)

where was i? boring life, yes. have you read any good books lately? a great piece of fiction can go a long way to improving your mindset. i recently began cat’s cradle, one of the last three vonnegut (he shares a birthday with my dad – not the year, just the day) books i have yet to read. i have really been saving the last three because there is nothing like reading one of his books for the first time. i haven’t finished it yet, but here are my favorite few lines thus far:

“dr. hoenikker used to say that any scientist who couldn’t explain to an eight-year-old what he was doing was a charlatan.”

“then i’m dumber than an eight-year-old,” miss pefko mourned. “i don’t even know what a charlatan is.”

other things that seem to make people happy about their lives:

- take pictures
- laugh a lot
- turn a blank sheet of paper into something that never existed (story, poem, drawing, comic)
- exercise
- look for a new job
- mix cold medicine with beer
- watch a wes anderson movie
- start a blog – come on, everyone’s doing it. and you get to be god of your blog. do whatever you want. it’s great for control freaks.
- make plans and hope

(sidenote 3: the last one in the list is the meaning of life. i know i subtly dropped that one in there, but those two things are the key to happiness and moving forward.

free writing ends here. time to eat the food.