the whole brevity thing, man

Lisa writes: “I like to e-mail. I am currently looking for a new pet to service me around the house. I think an asian monkey would be cool but whatever.”

you like to email? cool, send some more. tell your friends and family to email me.

as for your other desire, well, i’m not really that kind of website. but i bet a quick google search of something like “bestiality asian monkey,” or “monkey to service me” would hook you up with the type of people who could make that happen for you.

i’m not here to judge; i’m here to help.

okay, i am here to judge actually. i intend to use this as a writing exercise and personal forum to judge the world. isn’t every blog just a sick, greasy mirror of judgment?

related: i received this other email a while back.

Pupbert writes: “A post involving monkeys (flying perhaps) would be great.”

now, this may sound crazy but i think lisa and pupbert may just be destined for one another. feel free to contact me – maybe i can give each of you the other’s email address? whatever you want. like i said, i’m here to help.