11 straight days -- it must be a record

J Haley writes: “Tomorrow there is a forecast of Hell Fire falling from the sky, so we have been reinforcing the roofs of our shacks with the skins of virgins. Their belief system is really whacked here.”

in new york, it was seventy degrees. on january 6th. men and women kicked soccer balls across central park; joggers ran up and down the city streets in their shorts. chicago is dry as dry. bill nye is on television predicting 2007 to be the warmest year yet on record. apparently frigid forms aren’t selling in ’07.

despite the climate collapsing upon itself, tomorrow mr. bush will deliver his strategy for victory in iraq, four years (almost) after bush’s war began. he has broken so many rules, ended so many lives, shit upon the very document he took an oath to defend so many times, that the populace barely shrugs a collective shoulder when, after 3,000 dead americans – more than september 11th – bush has the impudence to assure us he will have a new strategy to win soon. day after day throughout december, bush’s anchorman tony snow told us: be patient. he’ll announce changes soon. to the parents, wives, husbands, and children of those soldiers who surrendered their lives for bush’s war: don’t worry. he’s thinking of changing plans. he’s tossing around some ideas, letting those ideas marinate in his brain. he’s thinking real hard. give him time. to those of you related to the as yet undead soldiers – and there will be more dead americans before his war is over – relax. he’ll get to it.

you should just mind your business and keep shopping. and enjoy the weather.